To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. Lewis B. Smedes Forgiveness does not erase the past, but looks upon it with compassion. To withhold forgiveness keeps alive emotions of hurt, anger and blame which discolour your perception of life. To forgive, avoid ruminating on thoughts of being wronged. Rather, trust the power of forgiveness to heal the hurt and pain. By holding on to pain and resentment, you suffer because the sorrow is intensified to keep it alive. Despite people’s perceptions that forgiveness means to forget, its motive is preserved in self-forgiveness and the role you played in co-creating the circumstances. This does not mean you consented to what transpired. Given your involvement, even as a victim, you forgive yourself regardless of your role. Forgiveness means to let go of dislike, instead of allowing it to eat at you. In the 2009 film Invictus, Nelson Mandala played by actor Morgan Freeman avows to the African National Congress in a show of defiance, “Forgiveness starts here…Forgiveness liberates the soul… It removes fear, that is why it is such a powerful weapon…The past is the past, we look to the future.” Remarkably, there’s a close link between negative emotions and illness, documented over the past decade by several leading doctors. Toxic and destructive emotions have the potential to activate certain diseases if we don’t attend to our emotional wellbeing. It is acknowledged as difficult for us to forgive a perpetrator for wrongdoing and it goes against our moral code. Yet, if you consider it from a greater perspective, forgiveness is associated with your emotional welfare, not merely granting the other person pardon. “At the end of the day, forgiveness is really not for the other person’s benefit at all — it’s for our own. Regardless of how illogical it may seem at times, it is through unconditional forgiveness that we surrender the past to the past and enter the present, freeing ourselves to stand in the infinite Light that knows how to heal our deepest and most painful wounds,” states author Dennis Merritt Jones. “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” — Paul Boese Power is not about exerting our will over others, it is about being in complete truth with yourself Many of us don’t really understand what personal power means. We’ve been given the false notion that power is bad — that it’s something we use to exert our will upon others. In fact, when our personal power is intact, we are neither overbearing nor meek. We have a clear sense of our strength and the impact we can have on others. This actually enables us to be more sensitive. Personal power is what permits us to work on behalf of our dreams and desires. It allows us to realise that we are worthy and deserve to be heard. In addition, our personal power lets us extend the respect we know that we deserve to the people around us. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed of fully owning your power. In the body's energy system, the solar plexus is the seat of personal power. One way to evaluate your sense of power is to breathe into this part of the body. If it feels tight or nervous, it is an indication that you may not be fully expressing your power. You can heal this imbalance by expanding the area of the solar plexus with your breath. You can also visualise a bright yellow sun in this part of your body. Allow its heat to melt any tension, and let its light dissolve any darkness or heaviness. Repeating this exercise on a regular basis can restore and rejuvenate your sense of power. Another way to nurture your personal power is to honor your dreams and desires by making concrete plans to manifest them in the world. Start by making a list of things you want, and let yourself think big. Choose one goal from the list and commit to bringing it to fruition. In addition, break the goal into tasks that you can work on each day. Know that you deserve to have your dreams come true and that you have the power to bring them into being. Do you ever feel like you're "running on empty" at work? Maybe you skipped breakfast before working on a big presentation, or you struggled to speak up in a meeting after only a couple of hours' sleep. Perhaps you're emotionally exhausted because you feel like you just don't "fit in." If so, you've probably encountered the HALT risk states. HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. The model was first developed to help addicts in recovery see when they were most vulnerable to relapse. Since then, it's been useful for other people, too – both in the workplace, and in their personal lives. This article examines when you need to "call a HALT," and how to act quickly on the warning signs. What Are the HALT Risk States? If you keep trying to work when you're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, your performance will almost certainly suffer. You may harm your physical and mental health, and you're at risk of damaging your relationships. You'll also be more susceptible to burnout. The word "HALT" is significant. It's a wake-up call to stop what you're doing and think about some key aspects of your well-being – and to change harmful habits. The four risk states are interrelated. For example, you may have heard the word "hangry" to describe someone who's irritable (or worse) through lack of food. "Slangry" is also starting to appear – describing a person who's grumpy after a bad night's sleep. But each of the four HALT states can be a serious problem on its own. How to Spot the HALT Signs To respond to the HALT risk states, the first step is to recognise them. This means becoming more aware of emotions and behaviors – your own, and those of the people you work with. Developing your emotional intelligence can help you to notice when you're feeling isolated within your team, for example, or the times when you've lost your "get up and go." It also lets you spot these feelings in others. Journaling your experiences, thoughts and feelings is a good way to keep track of any potential problems. You can monitor the amount of sleep and exercise you're getting, as well as whether you're eating regularly and healthily. Use your journal to help you spot patterns of negative feelings or behaviors – and clues about what's causing them! You can also practice mindfulness, to help you become more self-aware. Mindfulness has been shown to develop emotional intelligence. It's a way of observing your thoughts and feelings without getting "carried away" by them. If you think a colleague is struggling because of one or more of the HALT states, talk to them, sensitively and in confidence. This might require a difficult conversation, but getting the issue out into the open is the first step toward resolving it. With love from - mindtools.com www.mindtools.com/acd2ov1/what-are-the-halt-risk-states When we walk through our fear, we often discover that the strength of our fright was out of sync with reality The situations, activities, and individuals that frighten us remain static. Their relative intensity does not change. Fear, on the other hand, self magnifies. When you are afraid and envisioning all that might go wrong, the energy underlying your fear grows. A tiny flicker of anxiety can easily develop into a terror that manifests itself physically and eventually paralyses you into inaction. When we walk through that fear, we often discover that the strength of our fright was out of sync with reality. And we learn that doing what frightens us can lead to great blessings. Confronting your trepidation head-on will help you accept that few frightening scenarios will ever live up to the negative disasters that we sometimes play out in our minds. Though fear is literally an evolutionary gift meant to sharpen your senses and energise you during times of great stress, it can become a barrier that prevents you from fulfilling your potential by causing you to miss out on rewarding, life-changing experiences. During the period before you face your fear, you may have to deal with a barrage of negative thoughts and emotions. Whether your fear is public speaking, taking part in an activity that makes you nervous, or asserting yourself when the odds are against you, walking through it may be equally as difficult. But once you emerge unscathed on the other side, you will likely wonder why you assumed the worst in the first place. While you spend time worrying about what might happen, it’s good to know that your fear probably won’t happen at all. It may feel like a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you will likely feel a sense of passionate pride. Walking through your fear can mean taking risks and can require both practice and patience. Since it is challenging to act when you are gripped with fear, start small. Each step you take into fear will strengthen you and help you confront future fears with poise, courage, and confidence. You also will find that when you are willing to stare your fear in the face, the universe will always offer you some form of aid or support. When you see the heights of accomplishment and personal evolution you can attain when you walk through your fears, your faith in yourself will grow, allowing your next step to be easier. Shared wisdom from the Daily OM with gratitude. Our deepest longing is to feel our belonging to each other and all life. This reflection examines the primary forces that keep us trapped in a trance of separation We then explore two powerful dimensions of spiritual practice that can undo trance and reveal the sentience and love that is our shared essence. Finding True Belonging in the Midst of Stress - Tara Brach On this solstice day, I reflect with gratitude on all the lessons life has brought me and offer great thanks to my teachers, the teachings, and my friends who've supported me on the journey of returning home and in belonging. When we get stuck in difficult emotions like hatred, anger and fear, we are in a trance of separation – disconnected from the whole of our inner experience, each other and the web of life This talk explores four inquiries that help us reconnect with presence and heart. Rather than reacting with aggression or blame, these inquiries allow us to respond to our struggling world with our naturally wise and caring heart. Four Spiritual Inquiries: Finding Heart Wisdom in Painful Times - Tara Brach Our deep potential is to live from an awake, loving heart In this week's talk, we'll explore how, with a kind and mindful attention, we can decondition habitual tendencies toward grasping and self-centeredness, and nourish the sense of connectedness and care that gives rise to generosity. As we bring these heart practices alive in our most immediate relationships, they have the power to evolve consciousness in widening circles across the world. Sharing teachings from the wisdom and kindness of Tara Brach. Namaste Through prayer we can heal both ourselves and others—but there is one condition: the prayer must be selfless Healing at a distance through what is called remote prayer is possible. The prayer acts in much the same way that a remote control acts. We may not see the connection between the remote control and the television, but the energy being emitted from the source (the remote control device) is being received by the television. If the battery is dead, the remote control will not work. It is the same with remote prayer. Selflessness and unconditional love are the batteries. Without them, the prayer has no power. According to the Yoga Sutra, the energy emitted from prayer is eternal and cannot be sent forth in vain. This is also the secret of a blessing. Both intense prayer and blessing are at work in the process of an authentic spiritual initiation. You may pick up a mantra from a book and practice it for a long time without seeing much result—but if you receive the same mantra through initiation, you will perceive a distinct difference. Initiation must be accompanied by intense prayer and unconditional love. If either of these components is missing, the initiation loses its power. Many seekers encounter doubt about the transformative power of prayer, since they may pray regularly but see little sign of transformation. For a long time I struggled with this question myself. Prayers that burst from us when we are confronted with life’s calamities are too weak to connect our heart with the Supreme. The same is true of the prayers we say by rote or as part of a ceremony. The formal practice of prayer involves choosing a specific prayer and focusing our mind on that—but when we do so, the selection of the right kind of prayer is of the utmost importance. The best prayers are those that have been revealed to the saints and sages, and because they have their origin in divine experience, such prayers are capable of leading the mind and heart to that experience. These prayers are always accompanied by anahata nada, the eternal music that is always playing in the interior of our being. Remember: to be effective, prayer needs to be selfless. Only after meeting a number of blessed saints did I realize that I did not really understand this about prayer. Most often my prayers were full of conditions. By that I mean they were not God-oriented prayers, but rather self-oriented. I said those prayers to achieve worldly goals—good grades, a good job, or the favor of influential people. Once when I noticed that things were not working out as I desired, I decided to make a concrete deal with God. I began saying this prayer: “O Divine Mother, if I become a professor at the University of Allahabad I will do a hundred recitations of the scripture Durga Saptashati at thy shrine, Vindhya Vasani.” Deep in my heart I was not fully convinced that prayers alone could help me achieve this goal, so during the period I was saying this prayer I also visited the university authorities I thought would help me get the job. Yet long before the selection committee met, I heard that someone else would be chosen. The will of the Divine is unfailing and ever-auspicious. While puzzling over why my prayers were not heard, I met someone who helped me realize that the highest kind of prayer has nothing to do with worldly goals. God is not a petty-minded merchant with whom we can negotiate. The will of the Divine is unfailing and ever-auspicious, I discovered, and that is why the heart of real prayer is surrender. When we surrender to divine will, we rise above the realm of desire and attachment; our desires and goals are no longer our own. Then we are no longer concerned with whether or not our prayers are effective. We understand that everything that happens happens through the will of the Divine. We come to accept everything as divine will and find delight in it. A person familiar with the secrets of divine will and self-surrender knows that even loss and failure are manifestations of divine grace. Prayer is a means of unfolding our own willpower and connecting ourselves with the Divine within. It is an invisible thread of sounds connecting the individual with the Supreme, and it is strengthened when spun with feelings of faith, love, and total surrender. Shared with gratitude, from the writings of my teacher, Pandit Rajmani Tigunait of the Himalayan Institute. It is important to make decisions from a place of balance, by taking a breath and checking in with heart and mind Each of the myriad of decisions we make every day has the potential to have a deep impact on our lives. Some choices touch us to our very cores, awakening poignant feelings within us. Others seem at first to be simple but prove to be confusingly complex. We make the best decisions when we approach the decision-making process from a balanced emotional and intellectual foundation. When we have achieved equilibrium in our hearts and in our minds, we can clearly see both sides of an issue or alternative. Likewise, we can accept compromise as a natural fact of life. Instead of relying solely on our feelings or our rationality, we utilise both in equal measure, empowering ourselves to come to a life-affirming and balanced conclusion. This is going to take practice, and is certainly true for me. Balance within and balance without go hand in hand. When you are called upon to choose between two or more options, whether they are attractive or distasteful, you should understand all you can about the choice ahead of you before moving forward. If you do not come to the decision from a place of balance, you risk making choices that are irrational and overly emotional or are wholly logical and don't take your feelings into account. In bringing your thoughts and emotions together during the decision-making process, you ensure that you are taking everything possible into account before moving forward. Nothing is left up to chance, and you have ample opportunity to determine which options are in accordance with your values and support your intuition. Though some major decisions may oblige you to act and react quickly, most will allow you an abundance of time in which to mull over your choices. If you doubt your ability to approach your options in a balanced fashion, take an extended time-out before responding to the decision or have a chat with a trusted friend or counsellor. This will give you the interlude and additional perspective you need to make certain that your thoughts and feelings are in equilibrium. As you practice achieving balance, you will ultimately reach a state of mind in which you can easily make decisions that honour every aspect of the self. Daily OM wisdom - love it, grateful When we undermine our light by hiding our aptitudes and quashing our dreams, we deny ourselves and others a wealth of experiences We are each born into this world with unique gifts. Within us is a glimmer of the divine, a light that can potentially make the world a more beautiful place. But in many, that light lies dormant, snuffed out by fears and feelings of inadequacy. To spark it is to attract attention, face the possibility of rejection or the responsibility of success, and risk being labeled immodest. Yet when we undermine the light by hiding our aptitudes and quashing our dreams, we deny ourselves and others a wealth of experiences. Your abilities are a part of who you are and when you take pride in them, you affirm the love, esteem, and trust with which you view yourself. Moreover, as you express the light within, you grant others permission to do the same, freeing them to explore their own talents. For some, we are taught to hide our light from the world since childhood. Relatives caution us that the professions associated with our aptitudes are unattainable. Our peers may be envious of our skills and thus overly critical of the activities we instinctively enjoy. And authority figures admonish us to be humble and avoid showing off. But there is a vast chasm that separates those who let their light shine and those who seek only to draw attention to themselves. When you dare to share your light with the world, the beauty and perfection of your soul become clearly visible. You become a whole being - the literal embodiment of your vast potential. Whether you are a wonderful dancer, a first-rate cook, quick with numbers, or a natural negotiator, you'll come to understand that you do the world no favours when you hold yourself back. If you have hidden your light for so long that it has shrunk to an ember, make a list of everything you do well, however impractical, silly, or seemingly inconsequential. Then ask yourself how you can positively utilise those abilities in your daily life. The gifts you were born with were not granted to you arbitrarily. While you may never discover what impact your light has had on others, you can be certain that when you embrace your talents and share them with others, you will spread illumination in the world. More reflections from the Daily OM - thankyou |
TANIA
|